For more than a month, I have been into a lot... and I mean a lot!!!
I feel like, all the things that really matter to me are being taken away from me. It took a while for me to have the strength to even write about it without being hurt.
Here...
For a long time, I am happy and contented with my life. I have myself to think about, to consider and argue with. I occasionally take into consideration my father and sister, argue with them a lot but at the end, it's just myself that matters. And I am A okey with that! In short, I like being alone.
But true to the saying, it will just happen when it happens.. you know what I mean. It was great, I could say that it's the best thing that ever happened to me. I have never loved like that. I was not even aware that I am capable of loving that much. There are complications but they really didn't matter. I was just ready to face all of it,... for love.
Just as it was destined to be from the start, it didn't last.... It hurts... it really really hurt me. I felt like my heart was being crashed, literally and figuratively. It hurts... it hurts... I hurt me so much I wouldn't wish my worst enemy to experience it...
Things happened and felt like what I can only watch in teleseryes. You might think it is an exaggeration but really, every minute, every hour, every day that passes by is an ordeal.. I didn't want to wake up in the morning. I can't breathe. I can't sleep at night. I cried and cried and cried until i got tired...
With the help of my closest and trusted friends, I was able to pick up myself and move on... I always reminded myself, this is for the better. Again and again I needed to remind myself of that.
Weeks pass by, and the loneliness lessened, the crying not so often, and I started appreciating things again... UNTIL...
Don't take things for granted.
Then came another trial. My boss got promoted to a new office. It was supposedly something to celebrate BUT that meant not only saying goodbye to her but to the rest of my officemates for two years (some more than 2 yrs). I said to God, "Lord, one at a time please, I can only take so much."
We were like brothers and sisters. We take care of each other. We have misunderstandings but we easily settle them. Now, we have to separate. And once again, I am saddened by this turn of events... It was so unexpected!
I was just beginning to recover and this?.....!
After all, I realized that there's nothing I can do but just accept things as they are. Learn from it and move on...
Now, I am starting again to appreciate the mornings, the sunlight, the environment, the rest of the people around me... and I am looking forward to better things...better days...
