Giving My Last Respect

Eulogy for Chairperson Purificacion Valera-Quisumbing

which I delivered last 7 December 2011

during the CHR Necrological services held at Arlington Memorial Chapel

My story with Ma’am Chair did not start in CHR. Our story goes way, way back before our CHR days…

Our first meeting

Growing up, I would often hear my parents talk about their former classmates, former schoolmates and friends. And one name I would once in a while hear them talking about is the name, Puring Quisumbing. I would hear her name, together with the name Leo, and places like Bangkok, UNICEF, UN and New York. I just know that she was a former classmate of my mother. But that’s it, just names. I never met her,… I never met them.

I first met Justice Quisumbing in 1994 in Malacanang. Years later, when my mother died, Ma’am Quisumbing became instrumental on how I landed into a job in Justice Quisumbing’s office when he was appointed Associate Justice of the Supreme Court. She was not here, she was in New York but she was able to help. I don’t know how she did it but what I knew then was that AHA! SHE CAN REALLY INFLUENCE Justice Quisumbing. Ang layo layo niya pero napa OO niya si Sir. Or at least, I was considered. But again, that’s it, I haven’t yet met her.

I met Ma’am less than a year later. I remember that day. Melinda, the Secretary of Justice informed me that Ma’am will be arriving from the States. Knowing that, I bought a box of Bulacan Pastillas de Leche to give her, since it will be my first time to meet her, after all her help.

Straight from the airport, she proceeded to our office. When I first saw her, she was sitting in the visitor’s chair of Justice’s secretary. Kumukuyakoy. She was like a kid. With high spirits and very lively. She was wearing a black coat, black pants, red comfy flat shoes and a small red backpack. I’m sure many of the people who know her, knew how much she loves to bring that red small backpack whenever she travels.

I entered the room, we were introduced… She hugged me. Very tight.. She said “Oohhh I’m sorry about your mother. Celia is too young…” Celia is my mom. I was soo touched. I felt the sincerity. I said thank you, and I gave her the box of pastillas. She held the box close to her heart, like this……… Just a box of pastillas but she received it as if it was the most valuable gift she has ever received… She was really like that, very appreciative and very expressive.

As a boss

Many of you know this part, me as the EA of the Chairperson. When she asked me to join her in human rights, I was like “whhaaat??” What am I going to do there? Of course I did not say it to her. I remember she said, you should have an expertise in a field. And then again, I said to myself “yeah right! And that expertise is in human rights?” I need not say I was convinced. I don’t know how she did it, again. Magaling siya dun e. But of course I would say yes—Takot ko lang!

When you work for her, you should be alert. Ayaw niya ng papatay patay. You should be able to anticipate the things that she would need. She hates it when you answer “I DON’T KNOW” whenever she asks a question. “I CANNOT DO IT” does not exist in her vocabulary. For her, every person can do anything. There are no limits. You just have to learn how to do it.

That’s why she gives so much value in further studies, further education, reading, reading and reading. Di siya madamot magbigay ng opportunitites sa mga tao. Even if it would mean na mawawala sa kanya ang tao na iyon. She was very generous.

For her, as long as you are alive, you should continue to learn. I won’t be surprised if right now, she is reading in heaven or convincing others to study and read some more. Or convincing others to take their masteral, doctorates or she might be even organizing a training, symposium or round table discussion with God and the angels up there…. Never stop learning….. I’m sure naglelecture siya doon.

Knowing how intelligent she is, I would sometimes wonder, why would she still ask me to research, and make her presentation. I know that she knows all those things, minsan naiisip ko siguro niloloko ako ni ma’am para may gawin lang ako. Looking back, it had a purpose. The things she asked me to do for her, are not really what she needed and not really for her. It was for me all along. It was her way of training me. It was her way of making me learn, so that I can do it on my own.

On a personal note, I would miss how she would go around her office barefooted. I would miss her baskets full of food, snacks, banana and drinking water. I would miss her fuchsia, red and bright yellow coats, her favorites… I would miss how kilig she is whenever Justice would fetch her in the office. I would miss how she loves holding the hands of Justice. I will miss how she looks at Justice Quisumbing with so much love, until now. I would miss how she would blush whenever she would receive flowers from Sir during her birthday or their anniversary. I also miss how she would hurry to go home whenever Sir would call her and inform her that he is on his way home. I would miss how she would ask each and every one in the staff, how’s your dad, how’s your baby, how’s your mom, your sister. She knew each and every one of us, personally.

I remember how she would worry when we go home late after work. Kasi madilim paglabas ng CHR and it was then hard to cross Commonwealth. She would make sure that we were brought home safely, or brought to the bus terminal safely. Inaalagaan din po niya kaming mga tao niya. She would always make sure that we're okay, that we're comfortable.

Our travels

I cannot forget the time when we were going to Tagaytay. She will lecture on human rights before judges. As usual, I prepared her presentation. For some reason, while in the car she asked me to read and explain the presentation, page by page. The presentation was more than 50 slides, meaning, I read and explained more than 50 slides/50 pages to her. I started in Manila and finished when we were already in Tagaytay. For the people who know me very well, they know that I cannot read even a single sentence while riding a vehicle. It makes me dizzy. Of course, I cannot tell her I can’t. Takot ko lang. But for some reason, at that time… ni hindi sumakit ulo ko kahit konti. Marunong pala makisama.

I dread the days when I need to go ride with her in the car, because she would discuss human rights, current events, plans, programs and projects she has in her mind. Napapalaban po and isip ko.

During one of her lectures for lawyers, prosecutors and judges in Mindanao held in Cagayan De Oro. I decided to join a group to go around Camiguin. She let me go. Part of that group met an accident. Though nobody was hurt, we were all shocked! So when we went back, I was the last one to arrive at where Chair and the others were. I could see her from afar NANGHAHABA ang leeg, I knew she was waiting for me… When she saw me, she looked relieved. Sabi niya siguro, “AH OK, Buhay pa!” We were all sad and shocked for what happened. Then she said, cheering us all, “o don’t worry guys, let’s just eat, forget about what happened. It’s good all of you are safe now. Go somewhere else later and enjoy!” She’s really a mother. She knows exactly the right words to say to comfort people.

She can be funny also. In 2007, she treated all her staff in Baguio since it would be our last summer together as their term would end in May 2008. When we were in Baguio, the staff decided to go to SM. It was funny coz she said, “Ano ba kayo, pumunta kayo sa Baguio para magSM e ang daming SM sa Maynila.” I cannot forget that. Naalala ko tuloy siya sa SM.

She never told me any ill things against anybody. You know why? She doesn’t need to tell me or any other, she would tell it right to the face of the person. That person will not hear it from anybody, she would directly hear it from Chair. Alam mo kapag galit siya hindi ka maninimbang. She will tell it to you straight, even if it would hurt you. At least alam mo.

You will get what you deserve from her. She will scold you when you are wrong but she will praise you when you did something really good.

Her words and our being together.

I could go on and on and on talking about our 7 years together in office and the more than 10 years of togetherness in CHR and outside CHR. When I was about to leave for HK to study, her parting words for me were “Bye, galingan mo! Pumasa ka dun, pag bumagsak ka, wag ka na umuwi dito at mag-asawa ka na lang ng instik dun!” Very encouraging diba? Ayun, true enough, natakot talaga ako bumagsak at baka dina ako makabalik.

But when I have accomplishments, she would always commend me, when she has done something for me or she helped me, she would always say, “Ayan matutuwa si Celia niyan. Di kita pinabayaan.” She took it upon herself that it is her obligation to be the mother that I don’t have anymore. And I felt that each and everyday that we were together. Her embrace, her words of encouragement. She believed in me, when I myself cannot even force myself to believe in me…. She gave direction into my life.

I believe in the saying that when God closes a window, He opens another. When God took away my mother, she immediately replaced her in the person of Ma’am Chair. I might have lost my mom, BUT I never lost a MOTHER.

Ang problema ko lang ngayon e, paano ngayon na wala na rin si ma’am? I might be pushing my luck too far, if I would ask for another one or if there will be another one… Nevertheless, I am happy with who I had…

The last time I saw her was last July, I can never forget what she said “I am proud of you. I know you can do it.” She is truly my inspiration.

As I said upon learning that she is gone, my only consolation is now, I know that I have two mothers up there, looking upon me and my loved ones. I am relieved that Ma’am Chair is now free of pain and is resting up there with my mom, in the loving arms of our Lord God.

Ma’am, when you were still with us, you always tell me, “ayan matutuwa si Celia, I’m taking care of you.” Ma’am Chair, I know that when you saw my mom in heaven, these are her exact words to you, “Puring, thank you for taking good care of my daughter, Jo when I left.”

Ma’am Chair, I know that “Thank you” is not enough to say how grateful I am for everything that you did for me! In any case, MARAMING SALAMAT pa din po. Let’s see each other soon!