Sadness

I've been in a roller coaster of emotions lately. Too many things happened in a span of 3 weeks. Of course, we all know the Ondoy and Pepeng tragedy. I cannot believe that people I actually know experienced it. I know that most of us, one way or another knows victims or knows someone who knows a victim.. I can't help but just sigh... and sigh... and sigh again.

But the good thing about it, is the outpour of help, those people who really don't know each other work together to help....to help those victims they don't know. It's amazing to see the innate goodness of a lot of people. Difficult things really bring out the best in a person.

In the midst of all these, I am also experiencing a 360 degrees turn. Maybe that's why I'm really feeling low. I am so used to leaving the house, going to Manila to study since high school, even college and law school. Living in Hk for 9 months to study my masteral and to go on official travels in the office here or abroad for a few days or weeks. I am so used to leaving THEM behind. Just going home after, with my ready pasalubong for daddy and Me Ann as they wished. But this time, Me ann had to leave to study for one year in Germany. What? Me? left alone? .. to daddy, and to run the house? Ano, hilo?!? But I am actually glad that she would. I know that she deserves it and I also want her to experience Europe again, alone.

But even then, I have my reservations. Me Ann never lived on her own. Since birth... Our house is her comfort zone. Would she be ok? Will it not be difficult for her? what about this, what about that, what about ..what about... worries, worries, worries... I was so damn worried, I kept on thinking, I cried... and cried and cried until i can cry no more. Until I got tired...

Now, I'm trying to adjust to the situation. I know there is a reason for this. Actually, I am really happy to know that she's enjoying and experiencing Europe. I badly wanted her to experience all the things that she is experiencing and will experience. I am just glad.

I know, back here, I can manage. And I know that she can manage there too. Kaya naman niya. The experience will make her a better person..

For now, we will just be content with chatting...

And I would wait for my pasalubong from her, for a change.

More changes? BRING IT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love is...

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

- The Bible : 1 Corinthians 13:4 -

Regrets... I Had a Few

My Regrets:

1. When I was a child, I did not cry the moment I was hurt. I waited for the time to sleep and I would cry myself to sleep.

2. I wasted a lot of money.

3. I grew up to be a woman of steel.

4. Losing my mother very early.

5. Didn't take Law School seriously.

6. Did not pursue drawing, painting and designing.

7. I did not become a model.. (hahaha)

8. Did not take relationships seriously and I am not so friendly.

9. I cannot take laziness out of my system... zzzzzzz...

10. I slept most of my life..

Some are too late to correct... For the others, there is still hope.

Otherwise, they would still be in my list of regrets few years from now.

We will see.

A Day to Relax..

The one who cooks for us at home has a daughter. Her name is Camille. She is like an "ampon" to us, since Me Ann and I are not inclined to marry and have kids (for now..). Anyway, since Camille did not join her classmates in their field trip at enchanted, her Mama opted to bring her to Trinoma instead. Particularly at Timezone.

So, there I was, killing time before watching Sam Milby's concert... Nakijoin sa Timezone! Hahaha.. Surprisingly, naaliw ako. I felt like a kid again. But the best part of it was that Camille really enjoyed. She made me promise that we will be back there some time soon! Of course I promised.

Then off to the concert. The concert is entitled "Powerboys" featuring Richard Poon and Sam Milby. I like Richard Poon. I always visit his multiply account. But because Sam is highly anticipated, medyo nawala ang focus ko sa kanya. hahah

As expected, I enjoyed Sam's singing and well yeah, his face.

Sam Milby singing...

Nakatalikod na, cute pa din...

Isn't he good looking? ohwwww

Til next time Sam...

A Mall Lover... or used to be?

If there is one thing common between my mom and me is that we both love going to the mall. I think during her lifetime, most of the times we spent together are spent at the malls than our own house. I remember when I was younger, I would go to malls at the opening hour, 10am - and would go home at its closing, 9pm. Am I a mall addict or what.

But anyway, lately, I noticed that I cannot stand long hours loitering in SM North EDSA or in Trinoma. Actually, my heart and mind would want to. But my body, especially my legs give up. I don't know, maybe because of age. Or maybe because of the hard times, that I also do not enjoy looking at things to buy when I don't have enough money to buy all of them. Before, I used to charge it to my mom. Hahaha.. Now, I have to pay on my own.

Mall gives me joy and sadness. Joy because I see a lot of good stuff. When I was able to buy them, I am happy. It also gives me sadness, because they give me a clear picture of people's standard of living. They reveal before my very eyes, the disparity of the poor and the rich in the society. Cheap or expensive, no brand or branded, low end or high end, commuters or with private vehicles.

One time, I laughed when I noticed that there are some entrances and exits in Trinoma wherein you'll know that only the rich pass through them. Guards are relaxed because very few people come in and out of those doors. In other areas, guards are always alert because no time to relax, "buhos ang tao".

But I don't know, there is that certain fondness in me on malls that I cannot explain, most of the time, it gives me joy. To top it all, malls eases my longing for my mom. I feel close to her when I am at one of those.